Curbstomp. From my window I saw four feet come down on his head in the dark as people all around scattered. I watched the end of the silver glint in his hand ignite with its crack. Two shots into three people. I ducked down as he walked slowly away from it all, slowly toward my window. I won’t sleep. I won’t tell you when or where I am, but it’s four in the morning and I just grew up a little bit.
I hiked ten kilometers with two friends and climbed a huge rock face for Christmas. Looking out at the world below me I’m soaked in sweat, the world soaked in lazy smoke from kitchen fires, soaked in green and mountains as far as I can see is this sea soaked with tea covered foothills. Conversation soaked with words. We’ll soak in the stars, brilliant as anywhere I’ve ever been, clouded over so we soaked in sleep.
I dreamt of a world where laundry did itself in little machines, whites were white like torched magnesium. No dust in my toes. I dreamt chai came hot and sugary, the mandazi still warm from freshly heated cooking oil, it came every morning at ten thirty without delay.
I dreamt meetings lasted an hour, only an hour after which everything had been discussed and solutions unanimously agreed upon. I dreamt people had the time to dream in the grass under acacia trees in wheelbarrows. They had conversations about the goats and God to pass the time. The equatorial sun was warm. The snow was cold.
I saw white blend in with black in a perfectly sfumatoed gray scale city in the wind. The leaves changed colors and fell while I sat on a heater with a blanket tent while the first snow fell. I fell in love and she with me. The stars never fell so brightly as in this night sky. The sun rose over Iowa. It rose over Kenya. They were beautiful together.
I woke up feeling rested and ready for a new day. It’s cold all around except under my comforter and I realize perfection is but memories away. In daydreams I combine the bits and pieces I’ve loved into something that will very much resemble my life years to come, when the memories have had enough time to bond into a story, when they have intrinsically shaped me, I’ll be better then.
